I’m back..
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 29, 2012
- In: Love life <3 | Friends :) | Family :) | Gingers | Teenagers | School life
- Leave a Comment
It’s funny. Just funny. You see, there was a stage where I wrote my blog on a daily basis, every evening without fail the post would be out. And then when I met dan things became different and it wouldn’t be a frequent. After all that ended I couldn’t face my sweet innocent blog :/ But now I’m happy with the help of Shane and I am happy to return and show the world (or my 22 followers) that i will be strong again 
I have missed it and so many things have happened. I started chatting to Ginge again (I know, long time) and I’ve been talking to Shane a lot recently. It’s a strange sort of bond. I went on my D of E expedition in 28 degrees up and down hills but it was great fun Do many things happened and fun was had by all, I was the top map reader and it was really great apart from the aches and pains.
The following day after the other 7 miles we had to walk, I went camping with my best friend an we sat and talked about everything. All the things about her self harm and suicide, my stuff about eating and various guys… It just kind of went on and I told her the truth about how far I got with Dan. Which made me feel better
I’ve got so much to say and such a little space of time to say it :/ My friends have gone all weird and loads of different people have joined the gang. There’s one girl I really do hate 
Kayleigh… She’s so loud and manipulative. Powell has got worse with her jealous scams… It’s crazy.
Picked up a form for head girl today 
it’s still my dream… I was made a prefect last week I also got 20/20 for my French coursework must go…
I’ve missed you all
Good night
Xxxxxxxxxx
Well :)
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 16, 2012
It’s feels like I’m too busy to miss him… Like there’s so much going on around me that I haven’t had a proper chance to sit around and mope about the fact we’ve broken up for good. I’ve got on my horse and just started talking to people a lot more than I used to… I even did something rather bold, I mailed this guy Shane that I used to know when I was younger and asked if he remembered me… We’ve been talking for the past two days and he’s opened up to me about all his worries and problems. It’s quite sweet
Went to see American Pie the reunion today!!! It was absolutely amazing Gets 6 out of 5 from me Really recommend it, it’s as good as if not better than the originals
Must go
Night xxxxxxxx
I’m getting there..
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 14, 2012
- In: Family :) | Friends :) | Love life <3 | School life | Teenagers
- Leave a Comment
Crying doesn’t solve anything but slugging does 
Well its not really slugging, just networking within the local area very suddenly. It’s taken my mind off him, but we still talk together even if it’s brief.
Tomorrow I have my REP gcse and my Biology gcse So much pressure but I think I’ll get through it… I’ll be happy with a C or a B instead of the A I should have :/
Tired now… Need some rest.
Here’s a meaningful picture about beauty:
Night night
Xxxxxxxx
Hhmmmph :P
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 11, 2012
Sorry about all the noises as the post titles I just feel that they sum up my mood. I guess I’m not that upset about Dan this time round because this is the 4 th time now… I’m getting used to it, which it why its the last for a while. I guess its a big gap to fill but its not like I don’t speak to him anymore…
I have been strong all day! I’m proud of myself.
I went to REP revision after school on a Friday The exam is in 4 days :/ oh well I know how to do it…
The worst part of today is that fact we all have to resit our French controlled assessment A couple of people in our class cheated and the thing is, they’ve become suspicious and all hell has broken loose but now the only thing they can do is make us retake it and compare them with their suspicions. But if the few people who did cheat, are found out to have done it they will be banned from the exam board and won’t be able to take ANY gcses! so they’re pretty stupid really…..
Otherwise todays been ok, got the youth parliament thing tomorrow which should be fun
Love lots and lots
Xxxxxxx
Argggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh :@@@@@@@
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 10, 2012
I bet you’re all sat there just waiting. Waiting to say I told you so. Waiting to tell me that you expected this ages ago.
Today he told me again. This over text! That he has only just regained the trust of his family so he doesn’t want to break that. So he just wants to be friends for now, a text a little bit. He told me he was weening himself off me :/ Then after I hung up and he didn’t say I love you or anything. He told me he was sorry and that this might even be the end of the road for now. Even for a year or so. I know it’s not forever but a year is a really really really long time in my books
Its been bad enough that today I’ve had to do my French coursework but now I’ve basically been dumped by somebody I love to pieces but can’t see :/ it’s horrible and it hurts so much
I know deep down at the back of my mind I knew that he was going to do this, it was only a matter of time but the thing is I’m so stressed right now I honestly don’t know what to do. So I called Libby and she sang and told me she didn’t know what to say or do. Before I’d told mum who didn’t really know what to say but expected it as well.
It’s just a horrible feeling
All those empty promises of how as soon as he’s passed his test he’ll be here to celebrate… What a load of rubbish now! That’s never going to happen.
I guess it’s kind of been building up to this though. He didn’t say I love you earlier on the phone, he’s been putting less kisses and acting like he doesn’t care anymore :/ I still don’t know what to do…. Kind of lost :/ I asked him to stop it, meaning the stroppy bit with each other and all this came out :’( I hate this…. I couldn’t ever hate him, but I hate all of this, all of the way his family are acting .. How he’s trying to keep them sweet and how its just horrible
Night, I’ll probably end up crying myself to sleep though xxxxx
News up to date :P
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 7, 2012
- In: Love life <3 | Friends :) | Family :) | Teenagers
- Leave a Comment
Well sorry I haven’t posted anything. It’s been heckic. He came back yesterday and everything was ok again.
We spoke this morning and everything isn’t anymore.
He wants to go off and be free without any commitments. I got really upset this morning but now I think I understand.
We’re going to carry on the same but without any commitments… But we weren’t really commited anyway so not a lot has changed :$
I’m just feeling a bit rejected…. I hope I can see him again soon.
Mum upset me earlier when she said if he was getting cold feet all the time then he wasn’t worth it because he really is. He’s just fed up of the sameold ways. Just annoyed me.
Hope to speak soon after he’s spoken to me again
Bye xxxxx
Day 9
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 4, 2012
He comes back tomorrow night, early hours so I get to hear from him Sunday Missed him a lot!
Not sure he’s missed me though. He’s not told me he loves me since day 3 or 4 :/
Fed up of learning coursework for french! And I think I caught Archie’s sickness bug I spent lesson 4 in the quiet room almost throwing up because I felt so bad it kind of sucked. Feeling a tad better now, staying at Libby’s.
I finally got round to buying candy floss from the fair and eventually got round to watching the twilight breaking dawn!
Here’s today’s picture:
How I feel about him, just not sure how he’s feeling :/ Oh well, can’t wait to speak to him again… I really do love him
Night xxxxxxx
Day 8 :/
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 3, 2012
- In: Family :) | Friends :) | Gingers | Love life <3 | Teenagers
- Leave a Comment
Wow what a day. Had one message today. I miss him loads and I do love him but today’s events take centre stage.
Two words ‘poisonous ginger’
We never said we weren’t going to the fair (which was great fun on cheap night all rides £1) we just said we weren’t going with her. But then she’s had a huge go at me and Libby for going together even though Carly said she wasn’t going. God she really really annoys me. Everything has to be about her or around her. She doesn’t want things to change but I want her to get one thing into her head!!!! People change… Get. Over. It!!!!!!!!
I was quite annoyed, she doesn’t need to stir things up. I’m still annoyed with her for talking to my mum about my possible sex life and my not quite boyfriend being 17!!! What right does she have to say that to MY MUM!!!!!!!!! Exactly :/
But on a lighter note 2/3s of the way there Spent lunch doing RE revision. Not long now to the exam.
Tired stressed and now very bruised Ginge came round the fair with us for a bit, was nice hanging out with other girls for a change.
Heres some nice pictures
Both sum up how I’m feeling right now.
Much love
Tatters1 xxxxxxxxxxx
Day 7
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 2, 2012
Keep losing it today, had to do lots of controlling my temper :@ it’s annoying. Before school then during school then after school and this evening. God it’s shit :/
It’s irritating me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t control anything. Feel like I can’t learn my French, revise for any exams. It’s going badly. And I just miss Dan loads :/ not that long now…. I really do love him. Spoken to him today Missing him,
Fair tomorrow
Must sleep now….night xxxxxxx
Day 6 – halfway (nearly)
Posted by: tatters1 on: May 1, 2012
Well readers, I suppose I’m halfway through my torture of not being able to talk to my beloved boy :/ Almost there really. I have to kind of fill the time with lots of revision, which kind of sucks but has to be done…. Two weeks today until my REP and Biology GCSE’s REP (Religion, Ethics and philosophy) is 50% of my overall grade so the pressure is on there 
and the biology is 3/7s of the over all bit so the pressure on a poor little year ten is really really high. On top of that I have French coursework on the 10th and duke of edinburgh practise expedition on the 25th so it’s all busy busy busy!!!! May is filling up.
Life’s quite normal really, and truth betold I miss the chats with Dan but I have been so busy I haven’t had a lot of time to miss him. No message today which is sad but I was expecting it to be far far worse that it is. Messages seem rather regular instead of the odd message I was expecting. I know, I love him to pieces and I can’t wait to see him again but it’s great to get a message or two. I’ve even changed my phone case to the yellow one which he made me write A<3 D on the inside. Like he did for me after our first date ( bit soon I know :L ) but so sweet
I'm quite happy with how things are going, just quite a few bad grades… A few Bs or Cs but at least I'm able to improve now
Today I was thinking about religion, and how it means so much to so many people but in my eyes… It's the cause of most wars! And it dictates the way people think and behave. I am an atheist because I believe that there is as much evidence for a god as there is for zeus and yet people don't believe Zeus wasn't a real person so why should we believe god a real person? Exactly.
In other news, here are my daily selection of uplifting and meaningful pictures:
The second one makes the most sense to me! Most of the problems we have in our head are made up We exaggerate them to be something they’re not. So why worry?
The pregnant teenager in my year had her baby at 3.07am this morning. She is adorable but I wouldn’t want a baby at this age No way!
I can feel my pulse through my thumbs.
Woken at 6am but accident and now I’m really tired, everywhere in Britain is flooding at the moment and although we’re still officially in drought I’m so fed up of the rain. The reason the country is in drought is because of the high population density in the East!! About a third of the population lives there! It shouldn’t be like that. The water in London goes a full circle in 3 days… That’s not right.
Enough ranting I need sleep.
Ciao!
Xxxxxxxxx
